We lost our way somewhere.
The industry somehow in an attempt to make people feel better about themselves did the exact opposite.
Now, we can’t take sole responsibility but hell we’ve got to take a good amount of it.
I’m not here to lay blame or point fingers. To find the root of the problem and eradicate it. Blame lies everywhere, the media, the industry regulators, you, me, hell, even our own societies insecurities and the emphasis we put on the things that are supposed to exclusively define us.
Money, looks, popularity all that bullshit. People chasing all three of them relentlessly and treading water.
We created two polar ends to a scale then positioned two armies at either end who would fight for their rights and why their position was perfect.
Being overweight is unhealthy (that’s medical fact) and being obsessive about your physique is also largely unhealthy.
Unhealthy means its damaging both psychologically and physiologically. Now, how far this damage stretches has huge variability.
Human beings are awful selfish fucking creatures at times and if I could fix that, there would be no need to write this. Social media is testament to that. You could ‘look’ anyway you want and you won’t be to everyone’s taste. You’ll have people abuse, acuse, try to pull you down.
Because they have issues with themselves. Not with you.
I’ll say that again. They have issues with themselves NOT YOU.
Being a good fucking person as lame as that may sound is a good start. Abusing people because they don’t meet your standards or fall into your social or physical expectancies isn’t progressive.
It’s hugely regressive.
Being unhappy and trying to fix everyone else is also fucking dumb. If you’re overweight and unhappy you don’t fix that by trying to get people to accept you. Trust me when I say it doesn’t matter how you look there will ALWAYS be people who don’t accept you.
You cannot be ‘shamed’ unless you feel shame. Do you understand that?
That means that you’re more concerned about how other people see you. Maybe you should be more concerned about what make YOU happy.
If you feel you’re being ‘fit or fat shamed’ it means you’re unhappy and someone has leveraged that to make themselves feel better about themselves (see again it’s not about you).
It’s like someone accusing you of something you didn’t do. You shouldn’t feel guilty about something you didn’t do. You can’t feel shame about something you’re not ashamed about.
You cannot target the perpetrators. They’re always going to exist as long as insecurities exist. If you do you’re gonna go round in big fucking circles. This is about YOU. No one else.
Money doesn’t make you happy, being lean doesn’t make you happy, food doesn’t make you happy. Being happy makes you happy. That’s a culmination of not a singular thing in your life but a culmination of things. That may include money, your physique, the people around you.
Right now. I can’t stand the way I look. It despises me.
I am however the happiest I can ever remember.
I’m healthy medically. Psychologically I’d say I’m pretty much as good as I can ever remember. My physique defines very little of that. Also, I can change that. I’ve experienced an enormous amount of what life has to give in only the last 12 months. I’ve largely done all the things I enjoy with the people I love. Friends, family and I’ve continued to work in this industry I’m writing about now with more passion than ever before.
We’ve stopped focusing on people.
We’ve started to focus on society and the sub cultures that exist within it.
We’ve become people obsessed with popularity at all costs.
We want followings more than friends.
We want to be accepted and in the same breath to be unique and different.
This industry I’m in is about people.
None of the other bullshit.
It’s about people. Giving people educated options that lead to a pinnacle of happiness. People ask me for my best ‘results’, I have no measures for those people. No metrics to tell you, no transformation pictures.
Reality is before and after pictures often depict someone who is happier in the left hand picture (the before). They were social, enjoyed the elements of life that make it what it is.
The second picture often shows someone who beyond the set of abs has little else and often why that picture is short lived.
Getting people healthy is really what we do.
Coaches who lead people to that will get people lean and they won’t. That in some cases is the coaches fault. Other times it’s the clients.
If I can help someone make better choices, life a long and healthy life and be able to accept themselves I’m winning.
I believe in people and I have a great amount of belief in the coaches I deal with on a daily basis. Belief in their capacity to change people’s lives for the better.
We have an industry that you could look at and think it’s broken. It isn’t.
People are broken and society expects so many frivolous things of people. Redirect people to the things they enjoy, find the medians, the compromises. The things that aren’t simply eradicated but changed and valued.
Don’t give up on this industry. It truly is life changing for so many people. That change needs to be positive though. You’re the navigator, the democrat.
Be that coach.